THE WALTZ

AN AI’OSTEOPHIC HYMN.

41 Qualis in Enrol® ripis, aut per juga Cynthi,

Excrcet Diana choros.” Virgil.

“ Such on Eurota’s banks, or Cynthia’s height,

Diana seems: and so she charms the sight,

When in the dance the graceful goddess leads

The quire of nymphs, and overtops their heads.”—D ryden’s Virgil

TO THE PUBLISHER

Sir,—I am a country gentleman of a midland county. I might have been a parliament-man ^certain borough, having had the offer of as many votes as General T. at the general election in 1812.* ^ j1 was all for domestic happiness: as, fifteen years ago, on a visit to London , I married a middle-af®jmaid of honour. We lived happily at Horaem Hall till last season, when my wife and I were invH cby the Countess of Waltzaway (a distant relation of my spouse) to pass the winter in town. ^ /i

Thinking no harm, and our girls being come to a marriageable (or, as they call it, marketable)and having besides a Chancery suit inveterately entailed upon the family estate, we came up in our 0chariot, of which, by the bye, my wife grew so much ashamed in less than a week, that I was obligedbuy a second-hand barouche, of which i might mount the box, Mrs. H. says, if I could drive, but ne r asee the inside—that place being reserved for the Honourable Augustus Tiptoe, her partner-general ^opera-knight Hearing great praises of Mrs. H.'s dancing (she was famous for birthnight minuets i Q 1 ylatter end of the last century), 1 unhooted, and went to a ball at the Countess’s, expecting to seeacouu^dance, or. at most, cotillons, reels, and all the old paces to the newest tunes. But judge of my surp 1 * lon arriving, to see poor dear Mrs. Ilornem with her arms half round the loins of a huge hussar-loo^ 1 . .gentleman I never set eyes on before: and his, to say truth, rather more than half round her ^ 0 \

turning round, and round, and round, to a d-d see-saw up-and-down sort of tune, that reminded fl 10 .

the “ Black joke,” only more “ affettuoso till it made me quite giddy with wondering they were n°®By-and-by they stopped a bit, and I thought they would sit or fall down,—but no; with Mrs. H.’s handhis shoulder, “ quam faniilxariter ”f (as Terence said when I was at school), they walked about a roin u Jand then at it again, like two cockchafers spitted upon the same bodkin. I asked what all thiswhen, with a loud laugh, a child no older than our Wilhelmina (a name I never heard but in the vi 0of "Wakefield, though her mother would call her after the Princess of Swappenbach) said, “Lord,Hornem, can’t you see they are valtzing!” or waltzing (I forget which); and then up she got, and j* tAnother and sister, and away they went, and round-abouted it till supper-time. Now, that 1 know vnit is, I like it of all things, and so does Mrs. H. (though I have broken my shins, and four times °T_ jturned Mrs. Homem ’s maid, in practising the preliminary steps in a morning). Indeed so much <* ^like it, that having a turn for rhyme, tastily displayed in some election ballads, and songs in honour ^ *all the victories (but till lately I hare had little practice in that way), I sat down, and, with the fti® g"William Fitzgerald, Esq., and a few hints from Dr. Busby (whoso recitations I attend, and am h 101 * ^nrfond of Master Bushy’s manner of delivering his father’s late successful “ Drury Lane Address ”), I 0posed the following hymn, wherewithal to make my sentiments known to the public; whom nevertless, I heartily despise, as well as the critics.

I am, Sir, yours, &o.. &c.

HOBACE HOBNEM.

* State of the poll (last day), 5. hu t 1

f My Latin is all forgot ten, if a man can be said to have forgotten what he never remembered ;bought my title-page motto of a Catholic priest for a three-shilling bank token, after much hagglu 3 © rthe even sixpence. I grudged the money to a papist, being all for the memory of Perceval and u No popand quite regretting the downfall of the pope, because we can’t burn him any more.