142

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.

[Act II.

Bene. Will your grace command me any ser-vice to the world’s end ? I will go on the slight-est errand now to the Antipodes, that you candevise to send me on ; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the farthest inch of Asia ; bringyou the length of Prester John ’s foot ; fetch youa hair off the great Cham’s beard; do you anyembassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold threewords’ conference with this harpy: You have noemployment for me ?

1). Pedro. None, hut to desire your goodcompany.

Bene. O God , sir, here’s a dish I love not; Icannot endure my lady Tongue. [ Exit.

1). Pedru. Come, lady, come; you have lostthe heart of signior Benedick.

Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me a while ;and I gave him use for it, a double heart for hissingle one: marry, once before, he won it of mewith false dice, therefore your grace may wellsay, I have lost it.

1). Pedru. You have put him down, lady,you have put him down.

Beat. So I would not he should do me, mylord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. Ihave brought count Claudio, whom you sent meto seek.

1). Pedro. Why, how now, count? whereforeare you sad ?

Claud. Not sad, my lord.

I). Pedro. IIow then ? Sick ?

Cluiid. Neither, my lord.

Beat. The count is neither sad, nor sick, normerry, nor well: hut civil, count; civil as anorange, and something of that jealous complexion.

!)■ Pedro. I’faith, lady, I think your blazonto be true ; though, I’ll be sworn, if he he so,his conceit is false. Here, Claudio, I have wooedin thy name, and fur Hero is won ; I have brokewith her father, and his good will obtained:name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy !

Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, andwith her my fortunes: his grace hath made thematch, and all grace say Amen to it!

Beat. Speak, count, ’tis your cue.

Claud. Silence is the perfectest herald of joy :I Were but little happy, if I could say how much.—Lady, as you are mine, I am yours: I giveaway myself for you, and dote upon the ex-change.

Beat. Speak, cousin; or, if you cannot, stophis mouth with a kiss, and let him not speak,neither.

1). Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merryheart.

Beat. Yea, my lord ; I thank it, poor fool, itkeeps on the windy side of care : My cousintells him in his car, that he is in her heart.

Hand. And so she doth, cousin.

Beat. Good lord, for alliance!—Thus goesevery one to the world but I, and I am sun-burned ; I may sit in a corner, and cry, heighho ! for a husband.

D. Pedro. Lady Beatrice, J will get you one.

Beat. I would rather have one of your fa-ther's getting: Hath your grace ne’er a brotherlike you ? Your father got excellent husbands,if a maid could come by them.

1). Pedro. Will you have me, lady ?

Beat. No, my lord, unless I might have an-other for working-days ; your grace is too costlyto wear every day:—But, I beseech your grace,pardon me ; I was born to speak all mirth, andno matter.

D. Pedro. Your silence most offends me, andto be merry best becomes you ; for, out of ques-tion, you were born in a merry hour.

Beat. No, sure, my lord, my mother cry’d ;but then there was a star danced, and underthat was I born.—Cousins, God give you joy !

Leon. Niece, will you look to those things Itold you of?

Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle.— By yourgrace’s pardon. \Hxit Beatrice.

1). Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-spiritedlady.

Leon. There’s little of the melancholy ele-ment in her, my lord: she is never sad, butwhen she sleeps ; and not ever sad then ; for Ihave heard my daughter say, she hath oftendreamed of unhappiness, and waked herself withlaughing.

1). Pedro. She cannot endure to hear tell ofa husband.

Leon. 0, by no means; she mocks all herwooers out of suit.

1). Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Be-nedick.

IeCon. O lord, my lord, if they were hut aweek married, they would talk themselves mad.

1). Pedro. Count Claudio, when mean you togo to church ?

Claud. To-morrow, my lord: Time goes oncrutches, till love have all his rites.

Leon. Not till Monday, my dear son, whichis hence a just seven-night; and a time too brieftoo, to have all things answer my mind.

I) . Pedro. Come, you shake the head at solong a breathing; hut, I warrant thee, Claudio,the time shall not go dully by us; I will, in theinterim, undertake one of Hercules’ labours;which is, to bring signior Benedick and the ladyBeatrice into a mountain of affection, the onewith the other. I would fain have it a match ;and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you threewill but minister such assistance as I shall giveyou direction.

Leon. My lord, I am for you, though it costme ten nights’ watchings.

Claud. And I, my lord.

J) . Pedro. And you too, gentle Hero ?

Hero. I will do any modest office, my lord, to

help my cousin £o a good husband.

j). Pedro. And Benedick is not the unhope-fullest husband that I know : thus far can Ipraise him; he is of a noble strain, of approved9