Let. iz.

LETTERS.

399

for the disappointment of my grand affair. I amnot so ill a friend , nor have lived so little in theworld , as not to know by experience, that a disap-pointment in a friend’s concern, is often of moretrouble to one , than in one’s own. And 1 was sosatisfied this was your cafe, that I was willing todiminish the loss , and make as slight of it as pos-sible; the better to comfort you, and prevent yourbeing too much concerned at what had happened.As to the fortune, I might sincerely have done it;but as to the lady, I own the loss is great enough:for, besides her character and education, she wasthe first 1 turned my thoughts upon, after the pro-mise you had drawn from me the year before;when you joined with some friends of mine ; inkindly piessmg me to think of the continuance ofa family. Methinks now I might be acquitted,after this attempt I have made. But you have ta-ken occasion, from the ill success of it, to provehow much more still you are my friend , in desiringto make the most of me, while I live, and keepwhat you can of me for memory-sake afterwards.This is the kindest part in the world : and I cannotbring myself so much as to suppose a possibilityof your flattering me. I have an easy faith infriendship. IVly friends may dispose of me as theyplease, when they thus lay claim tome: and whilstthey find me of any use to them , or think I haveany power still to serve mankind or my country,in such a sphere as is yet left for me ; I can liveas happy in a crazy state of health , and out ofthe way of pleasures and diverfipns, as if I enjoyed